The Countdown

So I have offspring bursting into the world sometime at the end of October 2011. I feel now is a time to vent all the things that have been swirling around my head about me, ERIK WILLIAMS, having a smaller goofier version of myself.

The first thing that scares me is the realization that my brother and I are at least 3 to 4 times funnier (or have a more sick sense of humor) than my parents. What is terrifying is the thought that my child will have 3 to 4 times the sense of humor I have. Now I admit I am not that funny, my bread and butter is dick and fart jokes, but from time to time a witty quip comes from my cortex.  Yet if you have talked to me for more than five minutes what I really do is movie quotes. If I tried hard enough I could have an entire conversation using nothing but movie quotes. I have already seen this reference ability in my 3 year old nephew. He has already started quoting his Thomas the tank engine movies with, “mom look Mickey is so close to…. (pause for dramatic effect)… THE EDGE”. Proving once again no matter how funny a parent is the child is probably funnier. So I am at a seven on the funny scale making my child an 8.5, I’m sorry if your daughter decides to date my son, hopefully I can teach him that there are no fart jokes at the dinner table, but I can promise nothing at this point.

Second, I have found myself getting ready for the adventures we will have. After putting up my son’s picture frames full of backpacking, cabin, and mountain photos all I could think of is how much fun we will have hiking and adventuring in the mountains. This is one of the major reason I am having a kid so young. It’s because I want to be able to get out and still do whatever they want. The idea that someday in the future I might have a night were it is my son and I, out under the stars, by a campfire, just talking life. Either his questions or mine, but being able to wax idiotic about whatever is in our universe at that moment. Having the ability to show my son there is more in this world than Call of Duty, School, Girls, Sports, Girls, Television, Girls, and Movies. God has blessed us with an abundance of things to see, touch, and smell right outside our door. Show him how God isn’t just in a building with a steeple and bells, but is in the world blowing through the trees and rushing through the rivers.

This brings me to the thing I am excited for the least. Am I going to be a good role model of Christ for this 10lbs poo producer? Am I going to be able to take the lessons Christ gave me and have him fully understand and take to heart what Christ wants us to be in this world? Will my kid love like he is loved? Will he be patient like those around him are patient with him? Will he be able to pull off the perfect pull my finger? That question might belong in the second paragraph... Moving on, as a youth director I understand how to kids long for something to drive them, something spiritual to guide them, and someone to be that example for them. Yet this is MY CHILD, and I don’t think the easy path is what MY CHILD would like to chose.

So here I stand on the wrong side of the cross asking how do I open the door to my child without the standard, “Here are the rules, follow them blindly says the lord”. Too often there is a sense of you have to go to church because its good for you.  I believe the best thing I can do is give God as many opportunities as possible. I can’t change this young person’s heart, nor their mind. God on the other hand can mold and sculpt in God time that I will never understand. The hardest part for me will be the whole, “we are going to church, you can either sit with us in church or have fellowship in the nursery.”(i say fellowship in the nursery, because play in the nursery makes it sound like God isn't involved).  I have never been a big, force to do anything, kind of guy. I know that Sunday school isn’t always the most fun event but without an educational understanding of the writing our faith is based on their cannot be growth.  Then I have to transition after confirmation to positively reinforcing that Christ can change their heart, even if they don’t know it is happening. Reminding them, every week if necessary, that church is a safe place where they can grow and become the person God calls them to be. Then I have to remind myself that church IS a Safe place where I must grow and become the parent God calls ME to be.

P.S.  a special thanks to all the parents at LCHS that are shining examples of the parents the God calls us to be. Thank You.

Double Standard on Music

I was listening to a little music today, and by music I mean “garbage” according to my parents and a lot of people in the world. I was jamming out to a little ludicrous, Eminem, and even a sprinkling of Kid Rock. This Music has negative undertones, foul language, and even suggestive themes. This music doesn’t always lift my spirits but reminds me that when I’m down, I’m not the only one who gets down.

I once had a long and deep conversation with a parent who said that they don’t want their children ever listening to that kind of music. (First I support every parent in their choice to have their child listen to positive music. It is their responsibility to help their kids understand the choices they make and their effect on their life.)  But something caught me rather odd.  I asked if there was any non-Christian music that they were ok with their kids listening to. They responded, absolutely! There is a ton of music that is out there with good music and a good message. So the next obvious question was, ok, who do you like?

This is where I just sat back and chuckled a little; Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, Toby Keith, Johnny Cash, Brad Paisley, and John Denver.

Now it isn’t the names on the list that make me laugh. I have been known to live on a prayer, as well as remind people that it is, in fact, my life(Jovi). I am also a fan of not missing a thing and I hate it when I see a dude who looks like a lady (Aerosmith) . I also believe sticking a boot up a terrorist’s @$$ is the American way(Keith). I am a big fan of Cigars, and I have said Hey, Hey Mr. Police man (Paisley). If you didn’t know me I am a big fan of feeling that rocky mountain high(Denver). Yet the one that got me most was the Johnny Cash reference.  I asked if it was ok to listen to Johnny Cash why wasn’t it ok to listen to Eminem? That is when I think I went too far. The parent who was apparently a huge Johnny cash fan said “how dare you compare one of the greatest folk/country musicians of all time to that hate spewing rapper.                                                                 

This is where I got upset. I asked who wrote the song about a battle inside a man’s inner conscience.  The parent said Eminem, which was correct. Who wrote a song about going to jail for killing a man in Reno. The parent said Johnny cash, which was correct. I said which artist wrote the song about getting high on Cocaine and killing a woman. The parent said Eminem, and that time the parent was wrong! That’s right it was Johnny Cash in a song called Cocaine Blues.

“Early one mornin' while makin' the rounds
I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down
I went right home and I went to bed I stuck that lovin' 44 beneath my head”

I think there is a misconception in the world today about what music is “Christian” and what music is ok for kids to listen to. I love Christian music and I love hard core, dark, rap songs. Well I started listening to K-Love out here in Denver, a Christian focused, radio station. Filling my car with love, joy, and songs of the redeemed, and it made me feel great. It lifted my spirit, got me excited for the day, and reminded me of the joy I feel. My only problem is after a while I couldn’t take all that happiness. I couldn’t listen to another song about how awesome our God is. Is that Weird? Am I a defective music lover because I have a limit on an entire Genre of music?

Of course not it just means I feel a lot of different emotions and music can help me channel how I am feeling. I believe this has the same effect  on kids but to even more extremes because they emotions are all over the place. So is it our responsibility to completely cut them off from certain music?  Of course not.   It is our responsibility to help guide kids to music that is there for when we are happy and music for when we are bummed out. I don’t think ANY music is inherently bad; it is the way that music is accepted by who is hearing it that makes it bad. If a young child, who believes anything an adult says because they are an adult, listens to Eminem someone messed up. But if a teenager, who understands that people say things to get them off their chest, because they are angry, or even because they say things to keep up a persona, hears a song, they can break it down better. I believe it is a parent’s responsibility to their children to help guide their music choices, but not make up the kids mind for them. Once you shoot down the music a kid connects with, to them, you are shooting the kid down.

So when you say that Rap, Metal, Death Metal, ScrEmo, or any other type of music is terrible but the music you listened to is just fine, go back and take a second look at some of your favorites, because I think you will find that your favorites said a lot of the same things they are saying today. They just sang it softer and with more savvy than today’s musicians.

Inner Conflict

So if you live in the same cave he did you might not have heard yet but Osama Bin Laden is dead, and at first I was really excited. All I could think is AMERICA! Yet as I go through my day and start flipping through facebook posts, a conflict starts to arise in my heart, and here are some of the things that started me down the path of conflict.

"I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live." Ezekiel 33:11

^:38 [Jesus said,] “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ ³⁹ But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also;

“an Eye for an Eye leaves the whole world Blind” – Gandhi

I understand that Jesus preaches peace. I want to be a peaceful person. Christ ask the world to come together and create a kingdom of Heaven here on earth. I want to be a bringer of peace. I want the world to be unified. Yet in this world there are those who have no purpose but to bring pain.

So I took a moment to find out what God had to say about protecting ourselves, our land, and our people from those who’s will is to do us harm and I found myself on the wrong side of the cross again. Starting in Ezekiel.

 ⁶ " 'But suppose the guard sees the enemies coming. And he does not blow the trumpet to warn the people. The enemies come and kill one of them. Then his life has been taken away from him because he sinned. But I will hold the guard accountable for his death.'⁹ "But suppose you do warn that sinful person. You tell him to change his ways. But he does not do it. Then he will die because he has sinned. But you will have saved yourself.

People who say God doesn’t think that Osama deserved to die by the hands of man haven’t taken the words of Genesis to heart.

Genesis 9:5-6   ⁵ And surely your blood, the blood of your lives, will I require; At the hand of every beast will I require it. And at the hand of man, even at the hand of every man's brother, will I require the life of man.  ⁶ Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: For in the image of God made he man.

Do I think this is a sin against God, of course not. Do I think that because of these actions God will no longer favor America with the glory and honor he has in the past, Absolutely! If God is willing to withhold glory from his favored king, King David, you can bet your life will do it with us.

1^st Chronicles 22:7-8

⁷ David said to Solomon, "My son, with all my heart I wanted to build a house for the Lord my God. That's where his Name will be. ⁸ But a message from the Lord came to me. It said, 'You have spilled the blood of many people. You have fought many wars. You are not the one who will build a house for my Name. That is because I have seen you spill the blood of many people on the earth.

Spilling blood will always be something God has to look down on. Yet does he completely give up on King David. Does God want us to stop fighting in the world. NO, because God knows the truth, and the truth is that people will always attack people. So instead of bringing his wrath down on those who must spill blood he separates the people. Those who must spill blood can have no place in the building of a house of God, yet those who spill blood are welcome into the house of God.

1^st Chronicles 22:9-10

⁹ " 'But you are going to have a son. He will be a man of peace. And I will give him peace and rest from all of his enemies on every side. His name will be Solomon. I will give Israel peace and quiet while he is king. ¹⁰ He will build a house for my Name. He will be my son. And I will be his father. I will make his kingdom secure over Israel. It will last forever.'

While our Generation must fight this battle, while our generation must shoulder the burden of war, while the weight of God’s distaste must rest on us, WE MUST NOT BE ASHAMED. I refuse to believe that the celebration of a great victory is unchristian. I refuse to believe that God frowns on the taking of an evil life. When I look at MY GOD I see a powerful leader who know that when the lambs have been scattered and killed, there are two steps that must be taken. First you gather the flock back from the hills and second you Kill that which scattered them.

Jeremiah23:2

² Therefore this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says to the person who scattered my people: “Because you have scattered my flock and driven them away and have not bestowed care on them, I will bestow punishment on you for the evil you have done,” declares the LORD.

So there is really only three things I have left after this volcano of personal emotions.

1) I love Jesus

2) I love America

3) I am glad the world is just that much better with him gone! I don’t feel sorry, I wave my flag, I thank God he won’t be able to hurt people again.

Moments that Remind ME who I am… Part 1

Driving in my car this morning I had a moment that helped me remember exactly who I am, a moment that, in its simplicity, showed a portion of who I am as a whole person. I think there are moments in our lives that truly reveal a little about us. Most of these moments go completely unnoticed until we allow ourselves to evaluate what we do on a daily basis, or allow other to lift up the good and bring to light the bad.

I am a believer that God calls us to take these moments and to use them to make ourselves better. The only way to become more Christ like is to examine ourselves in these moments that define us. I have taken some time to evaluate my moments, and to be honest some of them have scared me. Some are because I haven’t realized the bigger picture and others because in that moment I realize the uniqueness of my life. I have decided these are the moments that will define ME, and that is the scariest thing of all.

When I started to evaluate my moments the first one that came to mind happened extremely recently, A moment were a youth, who has no idea her impact, made my slap myself in the face. As a faith community we were attempting to talk our way through a conflict situation. Asking the tough questions like how do we change the hearts of those who hurt us? How do we make them more loving people? How to we let them know that they are hurting us? When this youth person said, why don’t we start by not tearing them down behind their backs! Like a brick to the head I almost fell over! She was absolutely right, and even I was looking at the problem the wrong way. How do we change the hearts of THOSE… How do we make THEM … How do we let the THEM!!! She made me realize I have to change my heart to change the hearts around me. If we want people to become more loving we have to be able to LOVE first, and loving someone who hurting you is the greatest charge Christ has ever given us. (At this point I want to thank that young woman for opening my heart and my eyes. Thank YOU) I realized this moment is one that will make me someone who focuses on my heart, to love, forgive, and encourage the change in others hearts. It makes me think of the TV show Heroes. Save the Cheerleader, save the world…. Change your heart, change the world!

The other moment that came to mind, was when I was driving in my car on the way to work. Now you have to picture a silver Pontiac Vibe, a long haired large man wearing Aviator sun glasses on in a dress business shirt, bobbing his head as if to some rap song with a strong beat. At least that is what I believe the woman in the car next to me saw when we caught eyes under the Santa Fe overpass. When we caught eyes, she had already had her window down, and i believe she thought we were listening to the same radio station, because when I rolled my window down BLASTING Baby by the BieBs I have never seen a woman laugh so hard and spit coffee all over her dashboard before in my life. Because nothing says Pop Sensation Justin Bieber like a 25 year old professional business man in a Pontiac vibe! I don’t think she stopped laugh until we his Broadway almost a mile away.  Long story short, I will always be completely awkward and unpredictable, and I am so glad God has blest me with the Unique style because if he didn’t I might be too boring for my own good.

Finally, this moment that truly sits in my heart like a rock. It was a cool New Years Eve evening.  It was a long day of snowboarding at Monarch with at least 13 inches of fresh powder. I was laying tracks like Dr. Dre lays beats and it was a perfect day to snowboard. My Girlfriend (at the time) had the worst day of riding in her entire life. Her board wouldn’t slide she was stuck on the mountain, she fell more than usual and ended up spending half the day at the bottom drinking hot coco alone because I had no idea where she was. (This isn’t to speak against me not wanting to be with her, I just ride a little harder/faster and so we know we spend time on the hill apart and that is ok.) So when we do meet up at the end of the day she is frustrated and I am exhausted but we head back to a beautiful place called Rainbow Trail Lutheran Camp to celebrate new year’s with some of the staff from the previous summer. Right around sunset we are sitting on the porch of and I am about to do something that would change my life forever when one of the staff named Eric comes out and sits with us on the porch. No I have to remind you this girl and I are sitting on the most romantic spot I know, at sunset, and I am about to do something that will change my life… AND SOMEONE IS WITH US! So every time a car pulls up the road I tell Eric, hey man you should go see who that is… trying to shew him away as nicely as possible. Luckily for me, he thought I was just being a Jerk and decided to leave. After a few moments I stand, turn around and look at this amazing young woman. She looks up at me and ask “Oh, Are we Done?” and I responded “God I hope not.” I then got down on one knee and asked Kelly Anne Fritz to marry me. I realize that moment forever I would be that more than just myself, I would forever be and US. Thank God for the US!!!

The Beers and the Bees

Watching Glee last night and I realized that I am going to blink and my nephew is going to be a teenager. Now I have to admit I was a super nerd growing up and I didn’t drink in high school. I was way too busy playing multiple sports, working on school stuff, and goofy on in speech team.( SHOUT OUT TO THE WVHS TALKERS 04!) Also I was never in the crowd that would break into their parent’s liquor cabinet and get drunk on Friday night. To be completely honest in my 4 Years of high school I was only invited to one party in which people were drinking and I was looked at like a moron when I used the phrase, “wet my whistle.” Apparently Casablanca references were over the heads of the mental midgets I had the company of.  I didn’t drink that night mainly because the only reason I was there, A GIRL, was in the room with the beer and when I went to get one she was making out with some college freshman from the local JuCo. (Shout Out University Closest to Lombard Avenue!)

So while watching glee and seeing a bunch of supposed “geeks” get trashed at a party while part the host’s two dads are away on a cruise, I couldn’t help but wonder where was I when all this debauchery was going on? I would totally chill in a wheelchair if I could make out with the dumbest and funniest cheerleader turned into a stripper right before my eyes.  Was this kind of party hearty attitude even around when I was in high school? Is this attitude really how kids act today? To be honest if I ever heard that my nephew/son/daughter was at a party like this I think I would have more mixed emotions more than anything. First I would be super pissed because they broke my trust and got drunk, underage, and were completely irresponsible. Yet at the same time would I think to myself, HELL YA, My kid is mixing it up with the most popular and powerful kids in her school! They called me for a ride, they didn’t break anything, they didn’t make themselves sick, really the only thing I have to hold against them is the raging headache they will have the next day.  Really, that headache is just an opportunity for me to mess with them so really it is more of a bonus for me than a punishment.

Then there is the blatant sexuality these teenagers. Now once again I must show my own personal colors and remind those reading that I, in fact, was a super nerd; a nerd of epic proportions, a geek of high pitch laughdom, a member of LAMBDA LAMBDA LAMBDA! (and if you get that joke then you might be in the same boat). Yet I never knew the sexual landscape in high school. I knew there were kids having sex but I am pretty sure I was on the shortlist of kids who weren’t in that landscape. So my question for Glee is did they do the two biggest high school dangers any justice?

Well when it comes to drinking I think they took the right path. Know that kids are going to find a way to drink because it is a lot of fun, but to put the emphasis on safety. Not driving home drunk or doing needlessly reckless stuff when drunk. Make sure that you do it in a group setting and not make drinking a person addition but a social occasion that should be few and far between.  When it comes to the sexuality in the show, let’s face it people who have more hormones than IQ points are going to explore and expand their sexual playground. Once again it comes down to responsibility. Not using sex as a tool to get what you want, or a weapon to use against another person, but for what sex is supposed to be for, the connection between two people who are invested in one another. 

So here I stand, on the wrong side of the cross saying to teenagers don't even think about it! If you  feel you are responsible enough to drink, you are responsible enough to understand that education is more important than a good time.  If you feel you are ready to focus your energies on another person than you should be ready to focus your energies on yourself. Who are you becoming and who are you trying to be? Sex is a blessing that we should'nt sqwander. So i leave you with this thought, and it is kind of a dousey. What is more important than drinking, feels better than sex, and is more rewarding than being popular? The true joy you feel when you understand that the love given to you by your creator is unequaled by any drink, kiss, or championship.

Wrong Side of the Cross

So i have been out of the writing scene for a really long time. I think i stopped in college when i forgot what Email and Password i used to get into my old blog. Well with the well written words of a good friend at http://crazycatlady89.blogspot.com/2011/02/giving-to-those-in-need.html i have decided i need to get back at it. So here it is!!!

This is an attempt for me to combine my to most important aspects of my life; the fact i am now the Director of Youth and Family Ministries at an amazing little church in Colorado and need to be a respected and admirable leader for the youth of my church, and  the fact i am a very over the top individual who has a somewhat twisted world view from time to time. It was these two aspects that bring me to the namesake of this new blog. The Wrong Side of the Cross. When i think of the average christian and what the main stream cast as an average christian it draws a picture that looks foreign and indistinguishable to me. A person that holds neither the values Christ would hold us to, nore the humility that God demands of us as his children. Instead it is a picture of a person who believes they understand what humility is and a person who understand what values are, but by holding the light to others values and asking why aren't others more humble like those who hold the light.

Those people are the kind of Christians who stand in front of the cross and try to use it as a pedestal or a weapon. That is why i must be on the wrong side of the cross. I can't use the cross as a pedestal because it isn't there to hold me up. The cross isn't a weapon to use against others accept my own greed, need, and desires. Now i do find the bit of hypocrisy in my writing, "well Erik by saying what you are saying now you are shinning the light of judgment on others!" I disagree, i am simply trying to understand my placement at the foot of the cross. Everyone knows someone who is the cornerstone of the "christian right". I am attempting to help the understanding of what Wrong side of the Cross means with out it being misinterpreted.

So here i sit on the wrong side of the cross thinking getting mugged is a time for ministry, taxes are the least important thing on my plate, and that two people in love should do what they want without me pushing my nose into it. But it feels good to know i now have a place to throw my remaining brain splatter.

God is bigger than you and your ideas,
Erik W.